screams!

back by request

2009-12-14T14:33:30Z

work! work! work!

things are moving along fine. decided on several hugely important things, making things more tolerable. things i had to do, i did. at this point in time, i cannot afford mistakes, so i'm going back to the beginning.

nothing to hold on to but dear life itself now.

i need to meet people. so many of them that i have not seen in ages. (NF, BIG HINT HERE. WHENS YOU FREE)

also, as my younger sister commented, since swimsuits are creating unfair results, everyone should just swim naked or in very basic clothings to maintain some modesty (but technically, the guy who might be more Embarrassed should win due to lesser Drag right? hm)

my brain is obviously addled.

peiyii @ 2009-12-10T22:59:00

2009-12-10T14:59:45Z

currently, i want to be a teacher.

when i was young, i wanted to be a pilot.

but ultimately, the zenith of it all, the pinnacle, the most desired outcome for my life, would be to achieve a Ph.D and be a successful rockstar. something like brian may.

seriously. rock star + Ph.D = win

final thoughts.

2009-11-27T10:25:00Z

perhaps, at this crucial moment in our lives where very little is certain, it is imperative that we best prepare ourselves for what might come. the deadweight loss must be accounted for and eliminated, the unnecessary must be trashed into the dustbin of history. what we cannot afford to do is remain hopelessly blind and strive for things that just are not worth it.

time will tell, and it won't allow us to make any more excuses for our dalliance. it is relentless, unforgiving and brutal if you are not sufficiently prepared. images of today might fade into the background and became the shadows of yesterday with the blink of an eye - are you ready for that? are you ready for the tragic demise of your life and world as you know it?

you Can try, to keep as much as possible from this part of your life; but how much? we all hate being taken out of our comfort zones, it's only natural. so what should we bring along into this new chapter of our lives? and what would be too much? is there any way of ever knowing? how much of You, are you going to bring along? sufficient, i suppose? to maintain a semblance of self, and to remember your roots. how about relations? people? things you perceive dear and precious?

it's a fact, isn't it, that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you might try, you end up a lonely pilgrim on this journey, just to use a cliched metaphor for life. you might stop along the way and settle down, enjoy yourself tremendously with those you meet, then before you know it, you have to move on. so will you bring everything you've built up with you?

and then the question of who will walk beside you even after moving on - it's another pressing issue that can only be answered by others, not you. you can choose people to walk beside you (or you can choose to walk beside someone), but ultimately, the other person will have to make his/her own choice about your presence.

you see, our life on this earth is really a lonely one. when people assess you, even though they do look at the people you mix around with, they only arrive at the truth when focusing on you. so while it does matter who you bring along with you, at the end of the day, even if it does make the journey better and less arduous, is the cost too high a price to pay?

is there a point, then, in even bothering to settle down at this early age when you know that things are going to change in ways you cannot comprehend? even if you do make the best of friends at this stage, are you going to be able to maintain them through an enforced separation? some of us have it lucky, of course, we're able to go through life together with some people more so than others, some people really do follow us on to the next stage.

but all this is so uncertain. the question is, do you dare to throw it all away, to remain cold-hearted and stoic in spite of the tidal wave of emotions? also, do you have the guts to accept the truth, that you are expendable and that life is cruelly returning you to your solitary journey when others do unto you what you have to do unto others in the first place? all these questions have to be answered quickly in light of recent developments and how life refuses to wait for me.

it's cruel, and it is thoroughly machiavellian; it is never rational when people do it to you, but it's always justifiable if you do it to others isn't it? is it necessary to bend to life's will and coldly shatter these ties just because you decide it is expendable? is there any point in forcing the issue? is there a way of avoiding this enforced loneliness? why? why?!

there simply isn't any space for weakness is there? life's a bloody bitch that way. today was supposed to be a happy day, it really was. perhaps that is the best lesson for me, that life can turn against you unexpectedly. you can protest, helplessly, but that isn't the point now is it?

so the best way foward now is to not look back. doing so might cause further pain and agony than necessary, and we don't need that do we? we need to thoroughly prepare ourselves for the next life-definining moment. i've had many over the past 2 years, and but none as big as what will come. i cannot and will not falter, nor will i let such trivialities affect me so much anymore.

the blog will become stagnant, and i honestly doubt i'd be posting anymore to be honest. it's time to move on from this phase of life.

peiyii @ 2009-11-26T00:08:00

2009-11-25T16:08:41Z

summary of the state of things now:

4 days of freedom left till i've got my internship, 0 things going on during those 4 days, am probably staying at home the whole bloody time so i'm wasting away my freaking last few days of actual proper freedom, staying at home, doing utterly nothing, blasted way to spend these precious moments eh, dissatisfied and upset with things, really, then again, can't really do much can i? it's not like i get answers nor replies, it's not like i dont text or try, there just happens to be an utter lack of response and/or commitment, disastrous, lousy, pathetic mood this is, arent i supposed to be excited about what is to happen?

apparently not, since there is nothing to be excited about in the first place. just emptiness

whine

2009-11-25T14:36:28Z

why is everyone going overseas?! for such long periods too! i've got a 3 day 2 night "holiday" awaiting me in bintan with the family at the end of the year and that's it! WHYY ): </3 #@!%

but i guess it kind of balances out with last year's awesome overseas trips - cambodia, uk, usa. meh

(extremely lengthy) reflections:

2009-11-24T19:00:18Z

i've been planning to type this post out, i just never got down to doing so. but tonight, when most people are out partying and losing themselves (~~some~~ most, to decadence), i shall sit on my bed, thinking and contemplating what this day has really meant to me. prom ended, not too long ago, and i am expecting a deluge of emails from facebook informing me of photos of myself being tagged (did not bring camera tonight, anticipated this would happen). but before that happens (perhaps in the morning when Those People start rubbing their eyes and awakening from a deep slumber, not knowing what happened the night before), i shall take this opportunity to contemplate what has happened over the 2 years and how that has affected me.

start of year 5 wasn't particularly exciting to begin with. most of us knew each other already, being in the same batch since 2004 and familiar faces were all around. perhaps the exciting bit was the unfamiliar faces. getting to know those, that was fun. but at the same time, bearing my primary school background in mind, even that was not too "eye-opening". true, the different levels of emotional maturity when comparing primary 1 and year 5 are completely different - it really is akin to comparing rabbits with elephants, thus creating a new environment within which these relationships would be formed. perhaps, yes, that was the exciting bit. nonetheless, might i call it a good start? maybe, and it really depends on the first most crucial portion of year 5 life: orientation.

arguably, the system was kind toward me - i had quite a wonderful group of people to start with. even though yes, there were some who didn't quite gel with the group and the startling amount of females present in the group (about 7, if my memory serves me right) led to a form of pre-determined segregation present straight from the start (clique might be too strong a term). and even amongst the guys, there were differences. so while each individual was exciting and wonderful, the group dynamics were kind of sad. that didn't stop us from having a good time together, though. do not misunderstand me here: i appreciate and loved the orientation group that i was in, but it's functioning as a holistic unit was undoubtedly lacking and somewhat dismal.

but you see, the sad thing about creating this orientation group is that because of its purpose (convenience in logistical arrangements during a massive programme for many people), of which is uncontestable, is that soon after it has been formed, the end of orientation would also mark the end of the group as it has ceased to be useful and necessary. thus, one cannot place too much hope in the idea of an orientation group to begin with - you might try to create an unbreakable bond and spirit within the group that would make it stick together in years to come (as demonstrated by a later example), but i have not seen that happen yet. perhaps the formation of a different social unit can also explain the eventual dismantling of the orientation group - the creation of the class.

fundamentally, the class is certainly more capable of functioning as a single unit compared to an orientation group. an og, essentially, is (seemingly) random. strangers are placed together, without any semblance of common interests or values whatsoever. the og, is a inescapable convenience. in contrast, the class often has lots of similarities, mainly in subject combinations. this allows for greater bonding over shared misery and joy, which is undoubtedly helped by prolonged period of interaction.

even then, the class never has a concrete image nor spirit if it is a "non-intact" one - such classes find it tougher compared to those "intact" ones. the class is therefore a fluid entity despite you always having a form class (again, for the sake of administrative convenience). of course, here, i am discussing the Class, not the class (difference being your form class and your subject class). this leads me to how a Class might bond and interact, which was an integral part to our IB lives - window on the world.

WOW. where to begin? 7 days in a foreign country with nothing familiar except your classmates, interacting with orphans, treasuring life, appreciating an ancient wonder of the world, dining together, laughing together, the list goes on. these things ought to make a class grow closer together, right? perhaps. what i distinctly remember about WOW was how i got closer to Some (not All). the late nights, the talkcock sessions, the pranks, the food, the music, the trips to the city centre in those little tuktuks. yes, those were fantastic times. but whether the class did bond together and become closer, i am not very sure. it does seem to have become increasingly divided into cliques, in all honesty. i succumbed to that too, actually! but i know i definitely got closer to wenhao, sam and yunmin during that period. especially wenhao, who has been through shit with me since the first day of school in sec1. even during that Controversial Incident in sec2 which led to my one day suspension, he was there with me. then came sec3 and 4, where we weren't in the same class; but there was still ncc air, and sec3 was arguably the most exciting year in ncc that i ever had with the mt ophir expedition, ndp at kallang, spec course, just to name a few. then came year 5 and 6 where we were in the same class, mostly eating recess together just about every day, and becoming his vicechair in a "repeat" of sec2 (our sec2 CT was thoroughly amused when we both got pc awards this year).

wait, where was i? right. WOW. definitely a case of getting to know some better (perhaps best seen in the numerous couples sprouting out from nowhere across the batch) and those hours spent under the blazing sun working our butts off to uproot trees and clear the festering pits of dog crap from all over just to clear the area so they can build a playground there? and those cockroach killing sessions! and can anyone (from my class) forget the orphans? those delightful creations that taught us the true meaning of joy; running, jumping, screaming, all over a courtyard with balloon swords and orphans on our back. it was so bittersweet when we finally departed (after spending our free time there and buying things for them on the last day), that the tears flowed freely for most of us when we boarded the coach after saying our final goodbyes. my "meat is murder" shirt still has a stain in the middle that cannot be washed off (and i won't let it) from carrying noinoi on the very last day. that was the most impactful experience of my life so far, especially within the context of the Class.

then there is the class. those wonderful subject classes that shaped our understanding of issues and knowledge of our chosen subjects. the chemistry class was unique. we had various types of personalities present, with most of year 5 spent in "the back row" with wenhao zhanfeng karlo and torsten, where we usually fell asleep and made a lot of noise and of course contributed actively to productive and constructive discourse. year 6 saw a shift in the dynamics of the chemistry class (perhaps due to the different seating arrangement in a new classroom setting?) some groups still stayed somewhat together, but there were differences. karlo, zhanfeng, wenhao, torsten and i still pretty much inhabited the same area of the classroom, with the rest either in front of the teacher's table or nearer the windows; and felicia and jeanie started sitting next to me because i was too lazy to move from seat to seat. classroom dynamics aside, the teachers were brilliant and fun. both had different styles of teaching, but nevertheless effective. in general, the chemistry class was fun. we all got along reasonably well (no distinct "islands") and it certainly did help make life better. who'd ever forget mr. chong constantly chiding tony for falling asleep? i know i wont.

the economics class was huge. it was mindblowingly big. for a higher level of education, this might not be too effective as it really compromises student-teacher dynamics due to the student-teacher ratio being quite crazy. however, a constant and engaging teaching style that was suited to this made things a lot better. as a class, it never really was united and was certainly clique-ish. there would always be the CG, then the whole indian bunch, and then the girls would be another group altogether and well, the rest of us here and there. the sense of division was ever present, but it certainly was heartwarming and pleasant when we got together and celebrated the teacher's birthday! and amongst other things tried playing silly pranks like rearranging our tables and chairs in ridiculous positions. but i guess, it was the best that it could have been given the size of the class.

then there was the history class (♥!) which was huge at the start of year 5 but shrank drastically in year 6. true, there were good memories of year5 history with manda featuring most prominently in her famous "omg guys, i've got like, fourteen points?" when we were role-playing the paris peace conference of 1919 (no prizes for guessing who she was supposed to be). i ended up threatening embargo of all pasta-related products as well as pizza to no avail, though we did create several new country states with such chimeric and distorted names that are harder to pronounce than floccinaucinipilihilification or dzerzhinsky. year 5 history flew past rather quickly, in all honesty. year 6, though, flew by even quicker ): with the same teacher from last year teaching our class, the sense of familiarity enabled us to conquer our syllabus rather swiftly from the beginning. what this familiarity also begot was a whole lot of fun - teases, inside jokes, ridiculous moments, bizzare maps, completely random trivia, and that massive bottle of skittles. it helped that we had an eclectic mix of wonderful personalities, ranging from the ditzy (the korean exile) to the over-sized baby (HAHA). yes, we had misfits, but that didn't stop the rest of the class from having such a blast every single lesson. this class, i love and miss the most. sadly, we didn't get to have a photo op today, perhaps 6th jan? with our 7s? (: mm, these people, i shall miss the most.

math was uh, individualistic. it was terribly difficult to have much group interaction and cohesion - we had to do a lot of practicing by ourselves with the teacher helping us along the way. while individualistic in nature, there were still some social groups present. still, math as a class certainly did leave quite a lot to be desired (if compared to 6hl3history) but still, there were plenty of positives and virtues in having math the way it was taught. english was strange. the teachers were fantastic in year 6, but the class was generally not very cohesive despite attempts to do so by the male teacher this year, who shuffled our groups around constantly. no matter, though, we stil avoided those we did not like in the end and stuck with our own groups. so that pretty much spells out the academic side of social groupings and their effects. generally speaking, it was good. though in certain cases i kept to myself and did not break out of my shells very much, the wonderful 6hl3history class really did make a massive difference.

then there's the non-academic side to life. oh goodness where should i begin. i could dig up my old cas file forms and see the extents at which i interacted with others on a non-academic basis, but meh, that will be too insane. i shall break this up into my 2 biggest ccas - guitar and muns.

guitar, to say the least, was fantastic. the new friends, the joy of being back in a performing arts cca once again, the amazing times we had together. the performances. gosh, those are things to remember for a lifetime. playing the prelude and postlude for school ceremoines, playing to a panel of judges at syf, and then those 2 unforgettable concerts? simply fantastic. and it helped that we had an amazing batch of guitarists in our year. debbie, daniel, tony, jason, zhanfeng, kevin, bingei, erik, vincent, winston, pam, bao, eugenia, tanya, louis; such wonderfully talented people and delightful friends. yes, there were rough times, but the good ones more than made up for it all. and playing daughters with danielyee in year5, invoking that lost admin spirit for one last time; and then drifting ♥ with zhanfeng daniel and leon? and playing the beatles medley, the abba medley, the gifts after the concert (i always get broccoli somehow?!) the rehearsals. there are just so many memories from the guitar experience that never fail to put a smile on my face.

and then we come to muns. imun 08, hmun 08, simun 09, smun 09, imun 09, and maybe even pmun 09 (when you consider the training sessions). 5 distinct and unique experiences that really really shaped me as a person and brought me to places i'd never have dared dream. as a delegate, hmun08 has to be the greatest of all. manda, lloyd, joyce, victor, adel, floh, jerrold, bong, harsh; these people that i love so much as a result of sharing that amazing experience in boston with them. manda, especially, as someone who completely understands me and going through quite a bit together (virtually all the muns save one as well as facilitating a group at yls together this year), i must say that i have made wonderful friends through this experience (even those outside my school! (; ). perhaps the reason why hmun08 will always be the best and most amazing part of my ib life is due to various factors: (a) a small group, (b) similar interests and aptitudes, (c) great personalities and a wonderful teacher in charge and (d) we really did share joy and misery together in the most unadultered form during hmun. late night bitching, strategizing and discussions helped the misery bit - winning best international delegation added on to the joy of winning my individual award. everyone truly shared in the fun and excitement of that experience. watching grease on broadway after navigating our way there through the snow in new york? times square? bubba gump celebratory dinner? AAHHH. ♥, really.

and pmun 09, even though i never ever went to princeton and all, it has been a different and wonderful experience training the juniors for once. we never had that level of guidance for our hmun trainings, and even though our sessions were effective, having had firsthand experience and being in a position to help compelled me to return to school after my exams and commit myself to training them. it was such an experience, seeing them grow in confidence and develop their styles slowly. they did well, by the way, clinching 2 honorable mentions and uh 4 "verbal commendatoins". maybe they didn't do as well as they/we'd have liked, but it's always a learning experience and i'm glad to have been part of it. and it's made me even more keen on teaching as a career, seeing how satisfying and fulfilling it can be to watch your charges develop and grow and mature. it's like nothing else on earth.

lastly, there was the study group. a strange group of people who decided to stick together whenever staying back in school to study, that's what we were. and that experience has added extra meaning to ib for me. late nights, dinners at wahchee/broadway, the occasional trip to holland v for a 3 hour lunch expedition, the rooms in the library, the discussions, the paper balls, the tennis balls, the hunts, the squash racquets, the list just keeps going on. common purpose certainly did help us unite, though. and it was a lovely experience.

so what can i make of this largely personal (and shared) experience over the past 2 years? prom today showed me one thing - that even though we might not know everyone, we'll always be connected in one way or another. that despite all our differences, we will always somehow be able to put them aside in the spirit of the school. but this spirit, is so ephemeral and ethereal, so i dare not define it. but i'm glad to have witnessed it and been part of it.

so even as we said goodbye and goodnight, (besides the promise of 6th Jan) no matter how and what we do, it's comforting to know that there will always be this shared past, this invisible thread that connects each and everyone of us no matter how different we are.

N.B. i might end up editing this post as you can probably tell from the lack of focus that my brain started to tire out and succumb to narrating a tad excessively, but i'll probably leave most of it intact.

a bit of fry and laurie

2009-11-21T13:45:35Z

utter brilliance, this. have been watching a bit of fry and laurie rather obsessively for the past few days (though it really is more of a continuation of this old habit of mine that did manifest itself during the revision period for ib). can't stop laughing at this. you've got to love british humour.

in brief.

2009-11-20T16:07:04Z

today might be setting a precedent for the future - not that i really mind to be honest.

it began nice and slow, waking up in the morning (my mom barged into my room and i recall telling her to switch off the light when she leaves when it was impossible cause the light was daylight T_T) and had a slow breakfast. then i read a chapter of The War of the World (need to speed things up tbh it's such a thick book) and then i played the guitar. lunch, and then it rained; perfect weather.

spontaneously decided to go out. met Her and went to btp and ended up in finest and popular doing just about nothing before i popped down to vivo to meet lloyd for dinner/book shopping (also spontaneously decided). ended up buying American Gods to complement my reading - ferguson for in depth and thought provoking reading, and gaiman for exploding my imagination (depth vs breadth? hm).

was walking home, not sure what to do, then i called koggy and the conversation went something like this:

"hey koggy are you at home?"
"no, not yet. whats up?"
"well, do you..."
"want to run? YES."
"OMG HAHA SET."
"call you when i reach home k then we go"

I LOVE HAVING MY FRIENDS LIVE AROUND ME LIKE THIS :D it's like a community of acsians or something (: i think i'll call up timloh soon too! besides going to pocky heaven, we need to go running too.

okay guys; IT'S TIME I GOT FIT AGAIN. NATTAYY RUNRUNRUN AFTER YOUR A LEVELS OKAY :D

state of the room part 1

2009-11-17T05:40:12Z

REVAMP IS UNDERWAY MY FRIENDS (at long last). this shall be an actual photo post - something that is rather rare.

the latest manifestation of my desk + shelves. detail below!

the actual desk! the two books that take up a lot of space are Niall Ferguson's The War of the World and Global Geostrategy (edited by Brian W. Blouet - focuses on Mackinder's theories which i find absolutely fascinating)

what tim and i got for the pmun juniors!! (if any of you sees this, pretend you haven't when we give it to you k?)

FOR SALE (except the lion)

bottom right shelf! books that i want to keep from ib + photos + mun id tags + guitar picks + BODY BUTTER HAHA

top right shelf - other stuff that im keeping from ib (mainly the bound books that the school gave + history stuff since i am very partial towards history)
</div>

FREEDOM LIVES HENCE AND BANISHMENT IS HERE. goodbye rubbish, say hi to the recycling bin!

the room shall be cleared and tidied up further in days to come, but for now, at least i have less clutter in my room :D

oh bollocks

2009-11-16T10:01:30Z

i've been postponing the clean up of my room indefinitely. i was meant to come home early to do so today after PMUN training but ended up sleeping because i felt tired.

i'll do it tonight, then. i promise!

or maybe tomorrow? we'll see what's going on.

ohyes! I HAVE DECIDED, people!

i really really really like almonds :D

peiyii @ 2009-11-15T21:36:00

2009-11-15T13:36:05Z

gosh i've neglected this little space of mine. what Can i say, really?

cannot wait for both my internships; cannot wait for my little holiday in bintan; cannot wait for life to resume. i've been dedicating myself to helping the juniors for pmun; chaired debates and providing guidance thus far i hope i have been helpful D:

new favourite place: central @ clarke quay. despite it being a sunday afternoon, it was rather quiet and pleasant. admittedly, the shops/boutiques aren't that attractive (no typical Big Names, as would be expected of the location of the place) but! the food is wonderful, as is its supermarket and it has starbucks + coffee club + o'briens! to top all that off, i've got direct buses there and home (owing to the strange system of bus routes where 961 stops at central but doesnt stop opposite). and there were actually seats in starbucks! i managed to finish 2 past issues of economist, so that was good.

but other than that, post-IBs has been good. early nights and mornings, a messy room?! i need to do something about that. and sort out these inexplicable changes in mood T_T

with that, 6 years of education have been concluded.

2009-11-12T12:25:58Z

HOLY SMOKES. IB IS OVER.

what's this empty feeling inside? D:

I SURVIVED IB. I FREAKING SURVIVED IB. SCREAM SCREAM JUMP JUMP.

very interesting convos once i got home, though:

CONVO ONE
EK†Veritas vos Liberabit† IT IS DONE says:
hey
peiyi. says:
ssup
EK†Veritas vos Liberabit† IT IS DONE says:
im bored
=[
peiyi. says:
LOL
what have you been up to
EK†Veritas vos Liberabit† IT IS DONE says:
NOTHING
I CAME HOME
AND DID NOTHING

CONVO TWO
Jerrold says:
@£$%^&*($£@$%£%$@!^
peiyi. says:
LOL
Jerrold says:
lol :/

so how did i celebrate this occasion? I WALKED HOME IN THE RAIN. then halfway through, the sun came out so i got pissed off and decided to change my shirt and shoes so my feet dont die too badly. and after that, i met with elliott and keson to bowl and doubled my freaking high score. yep, which amounts to uh. 80? yes i suck at bowling, i know. then i bowled 45 after that - foreshadowing things to come? I HOPE SO :D but LOL then we watched 2012 which was entertaining (and scary) but zomg apocalyptic films! mixed opinions about them, but nonetheless, good stuff. nice effects, too. then we bummed around as usual.

the days ahead: QUALITY TIME TO BE SPENT. lots of it, i promise. can't wait.

wth is thissssss

2009-11-10T12:56:32Z

shitshitshitshitshit my brain is shutting down already; and this is two days before my exams end! UGH. NOT COOL BRAIN, WHY MUST YOU START FAILING ME NOW.

NOT GOOD. THIS IS TERRIBLE. i think my brain's too tired from the exertions of the past few papers. perhaps if i can empty myself completely, i'll be able to completely channel the poem into my soul tomorrow and feel it and Be the poem. i should practice this by finding things and sending my spirit into them right? like the lizard on the wall, the ant in the kitchen, the fish in the pond.

fish in the river!

- fish! fish! fish!

then maybe i'll sail around my pond on a raft and seek enlightenment listening to my artificial waterfall.

freak lah.

3 MORE 3 MORE 3 MORE

2009-11-09T14:06:14Z

finally, Monday is over.

don't really feel like studying anymore; can't really get anything in anyway. just praying i remember enough detail for tomorrow.

150 years of china history awaits at 8am tomorrow, and it'll just be english left. gogogo, i can do this!

another day gone

2009-11-07T15:51:18Z

today was fun (: full of laughter and amusement and lively intellectual discourse. and a really awesome bunch of people so (: i mean yeah sure we werent completely intense/productive, we were kinda having a party instead of mugging hard. but still, enjoyable (: ideas of war and single party states being tossed around, quite a wonderful time really. plus all that food X_X

looking forward to an intense day tomorrow - either full of discussion or readings at home! i have like, two possible outlets tomorrow so we shall see what happens. either way, today was a good day (:

ZOMG

2009-11-06T16:15:02Z

jen has been stalking me!!!! okay not quite:

jen says:
my friend. all the best for ib! and almost everyday, i see you walking from the coro busstop. or somewhere there
hahaa
DONT STRESS
peiyi. says:
OMG YOU SEE ME MEH AND I NEVER SEE YOU ZOMGZOMG JENNNNNN T_T
jen says:
i am sneakz. i am NINJA.

peiyi. says:
starbucks ah!
jen says:
me?
hahaha
no lah
im always for some reason, passing by in the car
and you are always, for some reason, in your school u in like the SAME spot, walking from the busstop
headed in the general direction of crown centre
peiyi. says:
O_O
YOU KID
at night ah
jen says:
yeah evening
hahahahah
... (at this point we started spamming spastic emoticons)
jen says:
neer!!!!
*never
its damn funny
cos eveyrtime i see you
i go "hey look thats peiyi"
and i did it so many tiems
peiyi. says:
that many mehhh!
jen says:
my parents asked me if i had named some cardboard cutout
JAJAJAJAJAJA
*HAHAHAHAHAHA
ALOT you know
i dont know why
we are FATED

peiyi. says:
BUT APPARENTLY I AM NOT
BECAUSE I ALWAYS NEVER SEE YOU
jen says:
you just blur
peiyi. says:
yah
like i know what car to look for right
jen says:
if you were fated, like me, you would
HAHA. sigh.bed time in a bit, going to study at manda's tmr! (lots of food zomg YEY HAHA)

halfway point of the last bit

2009-11-06T15:44:24Z

nice, i survived my first (out of two) three paper days! in all honesty, the papers weren't half bad but i'm forbidden to discuss them in detail until 24hours after the paper. even so, in general terms, i actually enjoyed myself with Certain Questions because i was able to spam all sorts of rubbish.

END OF MATH AS A FORMAL SUBJECT IN MY LIFE. HOW DO I FEEL? FREAKING HAPPY. SELLING MY GDC, PRICE NEGOTIABLE :D (year5s this is good chance to get a spare GDC!!!) YESSSS NO MORE MATH NO MORE MATH. HAPPY HAPPY DAY.

the Next Three Paper Day awaits on Monday, not really looking forward to it in all honesty =/ i mean, yes, i love history and i dont really mind exams and essays on it, but i really like a more laidback and research-based approach to history - perhaps that's also why i find myself better suited for academia in that sense. econs paper 3 shouldn't be too much of a problem, it has always been my strong suit. i also have theory for history!

apparently, they're more lenient with paper 3, stricter with paper 1 and neither for paper 2. if this is the case, the smart thing to do would be to completely own paper 1 and 2 and relax the paper 3 bits, which shouldn't do that badly since they're supposedly more lenient with it! this would average out to give a higher score with a potential lower input and effort spent since doing so would essentially make 110 years of chinese history rather redundant (x but then again, this assumes many many things that i choose not to. hard work's the way to go, as always. (which totally explains why im slacking tonight).

at this point of time, i wanted to blog about something but it just slipped my mind and i cannot remember it at all, not for the life of me. meh. too distracted by yo yo ma's "solo" X_X

but now, history, shouldnt be too much of a problem. i have also become the provider of notes for the whole cohort X_X paper 2 has been adequately covered by my wonderful little boxes, i hope those who use it eventually find it useful and constructive towards their revision and learning processes! this role of "provider of notes" has really been somewhat accidental, but i guess since we're all in this together, why not (: and it certainly brightens my day when Mr. C goes around passing them out and saying "say thank you peiyi!" in that Strange Voice of his :D at least i am credited somewhat :D (even though almas totally forgot T_T too preoccupied with hyperinflation, i'd bet)

first four days are over, four more days to go with 6 more papers too! logically speaking that means 1.5 papers per day right? maybe alternate between 1 and 2 papers per day and i'd still finish on the same day. but NOOOOO 3 papers on 1 day and 1 paper per day for the rest T_T naa#!@$%!@ (studying with kelly and everett has turned me slightly more vulgar)

Interesting Developments in Life lately too! cannot comment, but mm (: Happy.

mixed bag!

2009-11-05T13:55:36Z

what is the probability of having such a mixed bag on a day like this? not very common is it - especially since there was only 1 paper today!

turns out, to make up for the terrible math paper (which i messed up rather fatally on the last two bits) i has piece of good news! i got my internship :D :D :D at a nearby school too! so awesome. it'd be very interesting :D

also, my google reader feed keeps giving me awesomely relevant verses :D

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15

highly relevant to the good and bad parts of today! could have been worse, but He is at the centre of it all (: and for that, i shall be thankful.

peiyii @ 2009-11-03T20:28:00

2009-11-03T12:37:36Z

another nice verse today; extremely apt too! (those in school will recall it as the Chosen Theme previously in 2007/8 i think).

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16

why apt? today, before our chemistry paper, torsten led a group of us in a prayer; reminding us to always keep Him in mind, that He is worth more than anything else, but also that His plan is perfect for us all. in that light, all that we do will be ultimately a reflection of Him and His works - not us, not ourselves, but He.

which really really set my mind at ease before stepping into the auditorium today. it has begun, and it will end after 7 more days of examinations. they don't feel real at all, but here they are.

9 more days to freedom, my friends (those who don't take hl math nor physics or geog or b&m or music or french). let's go.

peiyii @ 2009-11-03T18:21:00

2009-11-03T10:26:11Z

chem wasn't too bad.

otherwise, i have nothing to say at all. no mood to blog, no appetite, no will to study, don't want to say anything or do anything; don't know what to feel, don't know what to do or say, don't know any damned thing. don't really give a damn, to be honest.

i want to be alone tonight. i'll dig up my old shell and hide in it again so no one can find me.

go away.

!!!

2009-11-02T13:28:23Z

OH MY GOSH.

http://xkcd.com/657/large/

HOLY MOLY HAHA THIS IS AWESOME *geek*

and so it goes.

2009-11-02T13:18:15Z

WOW. 16 hours to the Incredibly Big Examinations! and then it'll be a flurry of papers before we finally conclude 2 years of education as dictated by the requirements of the IB programme.

can hardly believe i'm standing here, on the precipice of destiny. wtshit man; WHY SO FAST.

after this, it's time to grow up isn't it? damn

haha ohwell, here's to all of us, all those suffering from IB. had the most wonderful evening today, shouted and screamed so much with timloh shiru everett kelly and kaiting (who didnt really say much as always).

"SO CUTE!!!!"
"SO CUTE!!!!"
"ASFDJALDJRAODGIPDAOLPSALKDFOLAKFDLSKFAOGHJAPPEW"
"RING DING DONG RING DING DONG RINRINRINGG DING DONG RING DING DONG"

memories (:

creating a momentum

2009-11-01T14:28:04Z

YES. finally, an uberproductive day! 8 hours non stop econs mugging; covered everything, i can provide proof! didnt exactly read closely, but essentially went through the entire econs textbook at starbucks with everett (and kelly who joined later and left earlier).

it's getting VERY near. everett's actually excited about it; me, i have no idea what i should feel. but i know that on 12th november, if im not feeling ass-raped, i'll be feeling satisfied and accomplished.

things have been picking up again (note: i'm typing this on caffeine high so i might tend to exaggerate things from my ridiculously high perch) but yes at least Certain Things are settled now! going full steam ahead tomorrow with chem (topical revisions + tys + textbook + teacher if i can find one) it's going to be craaaazy and the last full day study session with the study group D: aww ):

also, very nice encouraging verse today! "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1 mmm, things to think about.

LAST DAY BEFORE EXAMS IN ABOUT 90 MINUTES. THIS IS IT GUYS. time for miracles :X

and faith, of course. lots of that. and hopefully we can ride a crest of positivity and confidence and (for myself and a few others), it'll all be over on 12th november! WHOO!

then it's internship + prom + results + teaching (?) + becoming a man. nghh

before i forget

2009-11-01T01:20:01Z

last night i had a dream; it was good for most part i suppose, but also scary (the part that i remember most vividly, of course).

i dreamt that i had grown a beard.

it went from my sideburns to the bottom of the chin, following the jawline the whole way. wtshit. and in the dream i was like "wow, gosh that looks kinda cool. shitshit how do i shave it off"

thankfully, that last bit probably meant my consciousness woke up when the dream got too ridiculous - me walking around in a fully grown beard (what i believe we call in 6.7 surajstyle) is unfathomable for now.

also unfathomable: rafael benitez and liverpool fc's form. 'nuff said T_T

HIATUS.

2009-10-31T12:29:57Z

i'm getting all flustered and feathery now, this is not good. i've been distracted and finding it hard to study history, it's like all saturated in my head already somehow i cannot squeeze in more no matter how hard i try. or maybe that's just what i think D: maybe i haven't been trying hard enough. so i'm going to read random history stuff for their style of writing and organization tonight instead of going for content - that way i can improve my writing style! win?

ohyes. hiatus.

i am formally calling a hiatus on my running. this is probably for the best - running at night leaves me with too much endorphins and sleeping too late, resulting in too little sleep and unproductivity the next morning or so. running in the evening leaves the nights somewhat useless already, and it takes away time in the evening, so i guess for now, running shall take a backseat ): let's hope i don't get too fat (especially in this period where i'm bound to eat the most to counter the rise in stress levels)

blogging will not, though! it's good to have some time set out for catharsis every night, it helps my brain relax and function better. i've been looping chris botti, and it has been such bliss and good music i utterly adore the pieces, especially katherine mcphee's cover of I've Got You Under My Skin. it's an amazing album, In Boston, it really is. my favourite portion's the middle bit, which goes something like this:

i've got you under my skin (feat. katherine mcphee)
cinema paradiso (feat. yo-yo ma)
broken vow (feat. josh groban)
flamenco sketches
glad to be unhappy (feat. john mayer)
hallelujah
smile (feat. steven tyler)
if i ever lose my faith in you (feat. sting)
time to say goodbye

okay, i just realised that's practically the last 3/4 of the entire album O_O naiz. but to be able to feature and complement such diverse talent (from pop/rock [steven tyler, sting, john mayer], to vocal [josh groban], AND a freaking talented classical musician) is really really quite awesome :D probably speaks volumes of my diverse taste in music (AND this also excludes r&b!)

okay. i shall read my beloved d.halberstam tonight to elucidate his take on the causes of the korean war and enjoy his superb style of writing and the very delicious smell of the book :X i know im weird kthx